It is a hard thing to lose a loved on. There is so much to do, so much to coordinate, and so many people to deal with. Deaths also leave loved ones looking for answers as to why they had to die or why the Lord would take that person.
When I was young, I would get confused because of eulogies. People who were not "good" people would be spoken about as if they were saints. And the good people would be spoken about as if they were immaculately conceived." I always questioned the disconnect between how my parents spoke about somebody while they lived and how they spoke about them in their death.
But that was how funerals worked. There was that mourning period right after the person's death that left people in various stages of grief. I'm not here to blame anybody for their thoughts or state. It is purely natural. It is natural to seek comfort, ease, and as much support as possible; while also seeking to be alone with your feelings.
So when a priest stands before God and family and says that your deceased loved is "in a better place" I understand how good that feels. I can see why you "need" to hear that. I know what it is to wonder about the eternal soul of a loved one. I also know what it is to hear a priest utter those words and shudder.
I am not against solace. I am not against comfort. I am against the idea that we can be so sure that a deceased loved one is in heaven. I am against instant canonization. It takes years for the Church to declare somebody a saint. There are investigations, miracles, and a process that must be followed in order for there to be a canonization, but your priest might declare your relative a saint, just because they died. Again, I am not against helping people through their grief. But I most certainly am against such reckless behavior as an instant canonization.
Let's not forget that the Church wants us to be hopeful. The Church wants us to remember God's mercy and forgiveness. The Church wants us to know that God loves us and that through Christ, we have eternal life. But the Church also wants us to know that nobody is guaranteed that. We don't know what is in a person's heart. And, for the most part, we don't know whether a person is in a state of grace or not. We don't know anything about a person's soul when they die, except that they go somewhere. So, let's be hopeful. But even more importantly, let's be prayerful.
Whenever I read a post about somebody dying on Facebook, I am touched by the amount of sympathy that an individual garners during those moment. I am also happy to know that so many people will pray for those family members and friends who are left. But I am appalled at the lack of consideration that we give to the deceased lately. It appears as if our society just assumes that once you die, you go to heaven. While it is disturbing to think of the alternative, why do we assume that it isn't a possibility. If the Church focused a little bit more on teaching about Hell and Purgatory, I believe the flock would be more focused on their responsibility in these matters, and that is to pray.
Let's hope that our loved ones have chosen God and that upon their death, they are given the beatific vision. But let's not fall victim to the culture that says that our deceased loved ones do not need us any more. In fact, I believe that when they die, they need us most of all. When I die, I hope that my family is reminded to pray for me. I hope that they are inspired to pray more than one Rosary and a novena. Instead, I hope that they keep me in their prayers for as long as they are able to pray. It's like my friend Curtis always says, "My dad always told me that when he died, I was supposed to pray for him. I asked him, how long I needed to pray. He said, I will come back and let you know when to stop."
When I was young, I would get confused because of eulogies. People who were not "good" people would be spoken about as if they were saints. And the good people would be spoken about as if they were immaculately conceived." I always questioned the disconnect between how my parents spoke about somebody while they lived and how they spoke about them in their death.
But that was how funerals worked. There was that mourning period right after the person's death that left people in various stages of grief. I'm not here to blame anybody for their thoughts or state. It is purely natural. It is natural to seek comfort, ease, and as much support as possible; while also seeking to be alone with your feelings.
So when a priest stands before God and family and says that your deceased loved is "in a better place" I understand how good that feels. I can see why you "need" to hear that. I know what it is to wonder about the eternal soul of a loved one. I also know what it is to hear a priest utter those words and shudder.
I am not against solace. I am not against comfort. I am against the idea that we can be so sure that a deceased loved one is in heaven. I am against instant canonization. It takes years for the Church to declare somebody a saint. There are investigations, miracles, and a process that must be followed in order for there to be a canonization, but your priest might declare your relative a saint, just because they died. Again, I am not against helping people through their grief. But I most certainly am against such reckless behavior as an instant canonization.
Let's not forget that the Church wants us to be hopeful. The Church wants us to remember God's mercy and forgiveness. The Church wants us to know that God loves us and that through Christ, we have eternal life. But the Church also wants us to know that nobody is guaranteed that. We don't know what is in a person's heart. And, for the most part, we don't know whether a person is in a state of grace or not. We don't know anything about a person's soul when they die, except that they go somewhere. So, let's be hopeful. But even more importantly, let's be prayerful.
Whenever I read a post about somebody dying on Facebook, I am touched by the amount of sympathy that an individual garners during those moment. I am also happy to know that so many people will pray for those family members and friends who are left. But I am appalled at the lack of consideration that we give to the deceased lately. It appears as if our society just assumes that once you die, you go to heaven. While it is disturbing to think of the alternative, why do we assume that it isn't a possibility. If the Church focused a little bit more on teaching about Hell and Purgatory, I believe the flock would be more focused on their responsibility in these matters, and that is to pray.
Let's hope that our loved ones have chosen God and that upon their death, they are given the beatific vision. But let's not fall victim to the culture that says that our deceased loved ones do not need us any more. In fact, I believe that when they die, they need us most of all. When I die, I hope that my family is reminded to pray for me. I hope that they are inspired to pray more than one Rosary and a novena. Instead, I hope that they keep me in their prayers for as long as they are able to pray. It's like my friend Curtis always says, "My dad always told me that when he died, I was supposed to pray for him. I asked him, how long I needed to pray. He said, I will come back and let you know when to stop."